im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
