You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
