the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
