What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i love accidental penises.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
