Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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