considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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