Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
