you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Randomize
