a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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