i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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