I love black thongs
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Randomize
