i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
