Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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