I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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