so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
