Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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