11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
