new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize