Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
