I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize