you guys were way drunker than both of me
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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