I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
