Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i dont even know how to be here
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Dick very happy bro
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
