Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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