Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Randomize
