No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
