remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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