Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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