There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize