so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
