My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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