Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
