After last night, I could never be a politician.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
You're like the curious george of whores
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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