Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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