Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
