I am full of burrito and curiosity
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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