I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize