Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
