People in love make me want to vomit
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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