Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
