It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
