If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
it's great music for shaving your balls
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize