handjob tips. give me some.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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