TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize