he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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