so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
