It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
