Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
