the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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