You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
