Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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