You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
