yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
how drunk are you?
Several
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
