If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
