Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
