he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Two words: nipple clamps
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