i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
