i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
