Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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