So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
