so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
