Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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