apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
