I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
