What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
