That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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