you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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